i don't know i can't think of anything

Great day, woke up drunk, stayed drunk still drunk. Darcy is here and amazing and I have an awsome new best bud named Rachelle.

-posted by kelly

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it sounds so soothing to mix a drink and sink into oblivion

I'm actually blonde, not a ginger nut.

Nothing exciting about today or tonight.
Each day that goes by is a day closer to Billy heading to the rigs. Like he said, everyday he's gone I'll be posting and farting everyday.
We had a wee little fight last night the way people in relationships (who drink) do and I locked myself in the bathroom for a little while to have a beer and cigarette and calm down and as I was sitting against the door I tooted and unbeknownst (blogger doesn't recognize the word, fuck it) to me, it echoed not only on the floor but against the door as well. So yeah that lightened the mood a little bit when I came out of the shit-machine. He said it sounded like a Harley. So I farted some more to remind him why he loves me.
I'm a lady I swear... well, I have a vagina which makes me a female if not a lady.



During our little tiff I needed a breather so I went for a little stroll around our building and decided to knock on this lady's door that I met just a few days before who told me someone stole her laundry from the washer in the laundry mat we have in the building, I was drunk so hence forth I was chatty and told her about how the week before some bitch face took mine out of the washer and just threw it on top of one of the dryers. I hate apartments, there is zero respect when it comes to personal possessions like your underwear. Getting off topic so I knocked on her door, said hi did you find you laundry. She did. Her name is Flo and I think she's going to be me new best friend.

My good bud Darcy is coming out here tomorrow I can't wait. Expect much fun and pictures for the week that he is here.
Much love, your dearest drunkest Kelly.

This is our baby Lilah

-posted by kelly

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beer time

I think the East Indian folks that own the liquor store across the street are giving me a complex because we just went to a new liquor store and I was so hideously surprised at the not getting a discount I just don't know anymore. White guys no longer like white girls I guess? I'm not racist I swear I just think I'm hotter than I am 'cause I'm drunk all the time I suppose. Oh and fyi, I'm working on getting gloriously fat I'll keep all updated on that.
And now for a few words from the Mr...

Well i guess all i have to say is this past few months have been some of the worst for us goal and achievement wise. Money has been tight bills are tough to pay. Who doesnt have these problems though. through the stress weve been getting alone pretty well though i must say, something i didnt expect thats for sure. Thing should be looking up soon though oil rigs coming up ill be gone leaving my insane wife behind so watch out. she'll be posting and farting every day that i am gone. On the flip side i did prove to her i could catch my penis between my legs and wag it like a tail....not that this is appropriate...video to come haha.

So FYI folks black is me red is Bill.
I know I am more interesting but be nice to him :)

Here's Bill's sister and my best friend soon to be sister in law drunk story telling


_posted by kelly and billy


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trekkie nightmares of a star wars fan

ooohgahboogah

New year, finally.
Things are starting to work in our favor finally.
Bill is going back to the rigs, I'm going to work my ass off on my paintings.

No stories about New Years eve because we did nothing because we didn't even know it was New Years. Got a six pack, watched some movies, I was out by 10 PM. I do have a funny story about the other night though. Billy passed out in the bedroom whilst I was out here bored and drunk, no one was online to talk to so I decided I wanted some sex. I go to the bedroom, sneak myself under his cocoon of blankets and do you know what with his you know what. After about 30 seconds he wakes up not realizing what is going on, clearly, because he starts talking about computer shit. "Oh honey the motherboard can't handle this I guess we need a password now, blah blah blah" I'm keep doing what I am doing, trying to not laugh. After about 7 minutes or so of him talking about passwords and this and that about the hard drive and me trying to steal secret information about the Enterprise via blow job I decided the poor bastard needed sleep not head.
So after a few moments he came out into the living room with me and once he finally woke up he explained his nonsensical dreamy ramblings of how he was a captain on Star Trek and I was trying to get information from him, so yeah, we had a good laugh.


In other new I am a raging PMS beast who is going praying mantis on my man's ass.
And last night I had the worst stomach ache of the most embarrassing kind. Crapped half my body weight I swear but that's what I get for eating nothing but shit for the past couple days.

Going in for a kiss, or lecture/pep talk?
Your guess is as good as mine.

-posted by kelly

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